Live Like You Were Dying

So, sometime back in college I started liking country music.  I’ve liked it on and off for years but the past couple of years I have really loved it.  Maybe it’s because I was going through certain rough times and I could relate or I totally understand what the artist was trying to say. 

I remember many years back enjoying the song by Tim McGraw “Live Like You Were Dying.”  In the back of my mind I always had wondered what it would be like to live like I was dying. 

What what I change in that given moment?

Would my attitude toward others change?

Have I loved well?

What friends would I want to see?

Am I seeing the people I love to hang out with now?

Are my priorities in line? 

Am I being the best wife/mother I can be?

Not that I am dying now, but I feel that during the the past 6 1/2 weeks, I have really been soaking in the words of this song. Over the last 6 weeks these words have played a huge role in what I have been experiencing and feeling.  

“And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying"

And he said

"Someday I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dying”

The things that were so important before I was diagnosed with cancer are no longer important to me.  The issues and things I was stressed about beforehand no longer matter.  I don’t even care.  This diagnosis gave me perspective. It gave me a sense of what really matters in this world, in my life.

It made me realize that I need to really be present with my 3 boys where maybe I was only half listening beforehand...

It made me be in the present moment and the now....

I was always running to the next thing with no time to slow down.  I went to the beach and did things that I really wanted rather than the things I had to do because of an obligation.  

We were supposed to take a trip over Spring Break and I asked...ok, I begged... the oncologist and surgeon if I could go if I started treatment immediately afterwards.  They were ok with it as long as I started right away. My husband, Kenny, on the other hand was not.  He wanted me to start immediately or at least the assurance from the doctors that waiting to start treatment would not increase the risk to my health. 

I just wanted the opportunity to have one last fun trip before my year of hell starts.  I had my surgeon repeat to Kenny several times that it would be ok.  I am so thankful that I did because the 5 of us had the time of our lives and we have great memories of that trip before the yuckiness of what we are dealing with now!  

So, live each moment like it’s your last, live life to the fullest, be kind to others, you don't know what they are battling inside (and kindness doesn't cost a thing), tell the ones you love closely how thankful you are to them and how much you love them because you never know how quickly life can change on a dime.  I still have yet to ride 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu…. that’s next. :)

 

Live Like You Were Dying

He said

"I was in my early forties

With a lot of life before me

And a moment came that stopped me on a dime

I spent most of the next days

Looking at the x-rays

Talkin' 'bout the options

And talkin' 'bout sweet time"

I asked him

"When it sank in

That this might really be the real end

How's it hit you

When you get that kind of news?

Man, what'd you do?"

 
He said

"I went skydiving

I went Rocky Mountain climbing

I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu

And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying"

And he said

"Someday I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dying"

 
He said

"I was finally the husband

That most of the time I wasn't

And I became a friend a friend would like to have

And all of a sudden going fishin'

Wasn't such an imposition

And I went three times that year I lost my dad

I finally read the Good Book, and I

Took a good, long, hard look

At what I'd do if I could do it all again

And then

I went skydiving

I went Rocky Mountain climbing

I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu

And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying"

And he said

"Someday I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dying

Like tomorrow was a gift

And you've got eternity

To think about

What you'd do with it

What could you do with it

What did I do with it?

What would I do with it? 

Skydiving

I went Rocky mountain climbing

I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu

And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I watched an eagle as it was flying"

And he said

"Someday I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dying

To live like you were dying

To live like you were dying"